What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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