I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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