please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
