If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
