does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
