I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
