he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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