We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The adults are the big ones right?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
