she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
