you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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