I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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