hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
