@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
