You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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