the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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