Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?

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(661): View more from California

seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome

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(613): View more from Ontario

no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.

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(305): View more from Florida

i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot

(1-305): View more from Florida

lets call myth busters

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(419): View more from Ohio

I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar

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(716): View more from New York

I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."

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(+61): View more from Australia

He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.

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