know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
