I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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