O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
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Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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