so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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