that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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