you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
