my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.