I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
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We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.