Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
