who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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