yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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