don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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