in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
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Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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