? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need a beard to bite.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
