whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
