I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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