just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
