They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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