Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
