My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
