Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
