So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
