I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
...so i touched it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
