I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize