His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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