Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
