i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Someone signed my nipple.
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