No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
