i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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