wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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