I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize