Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
