If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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