i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
