dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
