I hate all girls vehemently.
too bad you live with your parents still
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
