Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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