I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
