you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
