she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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