Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
