I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
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