the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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