so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
