That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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