hotel room ftw
they need to just BURY HIM!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
