spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
