i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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