im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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