Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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