so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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