Can Purell be used as lube?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
